GraceConnexion

Jacobsen and Kruger Audios on HeartConnexion Radio

Wayne Jacobsen's sharing of "Living Loved in Father's Grace" onOctober 9 & 10, 2009 is available online or a podcast divided into 8 sessions of convenient length for listening.

Dr. C. Baxter Kruger's sharing"Dancing With the Trinity: Living Loved and Loving Life"on October 16 & 17, 2009 is available online or as a podcast divided into 7 sessions.

If you loved the God of grace that you read about in The Shack or that people say they encounter for the first time in attending BreakThrough, then you will relish the teaching of both Wayne and Baxter. - Dr. Paul

They are now available for either listening online or to download as mp3 files and listen offline. You can find them at www.talkradio.com using this link: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/49394

xIf you already have iTunes on your computer, you can download the audios as podcasts and subscribe to get new updates on HeartConnexion Radio automatically as they are added. Use this iTunes button or search for "HeartConnexion Radio" on iTunes as a podcast.

"Dr. C. Baxter Kruger, theologian, writer and fishing lure designer is the Director of Perichoresis Ministries. He and his wife Beth have been married for 27 years and have 4 children.

Baxter earned his Doctor of Philosophy from Kings College, Aberdeen University in Aberdeen, Scotland under Professor James B. Torrance. He is the author of 7 books, including The Great Dance, Jesus and the Undoing of Adam and Across All Worlds: Jesus Inside Our Darkness. His books are available for order through HCM Amazon.com Store. He is an avid outdoorsman and holds two United States patents for his fishing lure designs. He is the founder and President of Mediator Lures.

Baxter builds on the Early Church Father's understanding of the extravagant love of the Trinity. Rather than spirituality being about "doing enough" to change God's mind about us, it is about discovering the false image we paint on God. In practical terms he shares how the heart of God is about us discovering the joy of everyday living as a dance into which the Trinity invites everyone.

Wayne Jacobsen, is an author, publisher and international traveler who has help many people come to an understanding about the graciousness of God as opposed to an angry, performance-demanding image of God. Wayne's books include He Loves Me and So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore.
 

I have been on a life-long journey to sort out what it means to live daily and deeply in God's presence. I also have an unremitting desire to help other people who are on that journey or who want to go on it, which is why I maintain Lifestream.org. I enjoy helping other people learn to live loved by God and to live freely in healthy relationships with other believers. As we learn to do that, we'll also find that we will quite naturally become a conduit of God's compassion to a world that is broken and devastated by sin. - Wayne Jacobson.

Wayne and Brad Cummings produce a weekly podcast called The God Journey and founded Windblown Media to publish books consistent with their understanding of God and grace as well as to challenge status quo institutional religion's view of God. The first book published was The Shack by Paul Young that has become an international best selling book.

Hostess Cake Donuts and a Glass of Milk

- By Mark Hanson

I finished the last of six classes required for my Doctor of Ministry program in October. The Formational Counseling track requires six classes with the same group of people. These last two classes were very powerful, as all the classes have been. It was a great time of meeting with God and experiencing His healing in my life yet again. 

It has been my privilege to experience much during these two week deployments to Ashland, Ohio, for classes. Let me share one with you. One critical element of my DMin program has been “sanctifying the imagination” and practicing the presence of Jesus. What this entails is setting apart our imagination for God to speak to us and coming into the presence of Jesus where he can speak to us and minister to us. There is more to it but that will work for now. During one of these times, we were invited to ask Jesus how he shows us he loves us. This was done in a group setting but it was personal: “Jesus, how do you show me you love me?” Then we were to sit and wait for his answer. I waited. I then received my answer…Hostess Cake Donuts and Milk.

Let me unpack this for you. A couple days before we did this exercise, I was talking with Cheri, one of the prayer partners for the professor. Someone had brought Hostess powered donut gems as a snack that day. My conversation with Cheri centered around donuts and how much we enjoyed those powered little gems. I shared with her that I really liked the Hostess Cake Donuts with a glass of milk. The next day, I saw on the snack table Hostess Cake Donuts and a jug of milk in ice. Cheri saw me standing there with my mouth hanging open and asked me if those were the right ones. Cheri had felt impressed to get some and blessed me “a little slice of heaven” as I like to call it. 

Back to the exercise, I am in the presence of Jesus and have asked him how he shows me he loves me. I am waiting for his answer. It seems like an eternity goes by. Then he answers…Hostess Cake Donuts and a glass of milk. I started laughing. I thought it was a simple kind gesture that came out of a conversation. Little did Cheri know that God used her to show me that he loves me.

I would like to have Hostess Cake Donuts in the house all the time but that would be detrimental to my health. I can ask God to sanctify my imagination and then meet with Jesus at the table and see him and me breaking donuts together. Doing so reminds me of God’s love for me. 

So, how does God show you He loves you? I invite you to ask Jesus to sanctify your imagination and ask him how he shows you he loves you. Then wait for the answer. I pray you will be amazed at what you discover. 

Thank You Jesus

First, Croc shoes had to go and now elevators. What's next? Oy vey!

Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, 99 year old influential Orthodox scholar, declared in September that Jews could not wear Crocs shoes on Yom Kippur because they were deemed too comfortable for the somber fasting holiday. Sounds like an advertisers dream "Our shoes outlawed on Sabbath for being too comfortable!"

For decades Orthodox Jews living in high-rise buildings have had access to specially designed "Sabbat elevators" to violate Sabbath observation.

For decades Orthodox Jews living in high-rise buildings have had access to specially designed "Sabbat elevators" to violate Sabbath observation. The elevator works going up and down; stopping at every floor, stopping at alternative floors, or rising to the top floor and stopping while going down without anyone having to push any buttons. Now, he has ruled that while the riders push no button, the weight of the passengers still increases the amount of electricity required to power the lift, thus violating Jewish law. Rabbiis have long approved exceptions for other essentials like using timers on lights and special hot plates that are turned on before Sabbath and off after.

Can you imagine the challenges faced by Orthodox Jewish families living on the 10th or 20th floors of a New York skyscraper? 

Thank you Jesus for the freedom of now no condemnation and freedom. 

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." -Jesus, Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

"Relax" - Jesus

BT alumnus and encourager, Brad Hill, recently posted on his blog a very insightful observation about how we can be blind to the love we have by looking at what we perceive others are receiving. I can certainly identify when I've been blind to the love I had by thinking "I'd rather have what they have." See if you can identify:

What I’m trying to get you to do is to relax” -Jesus

We have 2 dogs. Brodie is a “larger” beagle and Truman is a “shih-poo”. A couple of weeks ago I’m in the house…walked into the bedroom and both dogs are on the bed looking for affection. (A little background on the dogs. Brodie…very compassionate…very cuddly. Truman…fiery…inferiority complex. You get the picture.) I begin patting Brodie. With my other hand I start patting Truman. Both hands patting each individual dog. Perfect, right? They can be content, relax, all that, right? Not so much. Brodie is looking at Truman being patted and wanting that. Truman is looking at Brodie being patted and wanting that. Crazy. Both of them are not fully aware of the affection they’re getting…see the other’s “affectious” moment…want that to happen. 

My friend, Paul Fitzgerald would say “How does that mirror your life?”

How much energy do we spend seeking a love, a worth, that we already have but don’t see?

How many unhealthy roads have we gone down because we didn’t know we were loved as we are, where we are?

What does it look like to really relax?

Jill’s drive, to her knowledge, has always been there. There are signs stating otherwise though. The constant late hours at work. The restless nights. The lack of laughter. The lack of fun….of joy. The lack of meaningful relationships. She would say she has no time for these things. But maybe…maybe, it’s because she knows the road that’s ahead if she begins to “give” time there…the dominoes fall. “I, at least, appear to have everything together now.” Is that what life is really about? Impression management? Those questions lurk just beneath the surface. Where do they lead? “I can’t manage that!” Really lonely places. Her father’s voice “Get yourself together” whispers in the muddled distance within. On and on and on. What does it look like to relax here? Not the “ignore everything and pretend to relax” relax, but….breathe deep….relax…in the depths of your heart….relaxed. Free…easy….loved…enough….knowing who you are.

Listen to me, you are loved by love itself. The God (Papa, Son, Spirit) that is love has always loved you, will always love you, and you can take that to the bank. There’s nothing…nothing you can do to change that. If you let that root deep inside and let the light of that dive deep in the dark places, then you can live relaxed. Peaceful. It’s a tough journey, I don’t think any of us ever really complete the journey per se in this life, but it’s learning to live relaxed in love, by love, with the heart of love within. It’s shining the light on the “impression management” model and knowing that “love” that has to be bought is really no love at all. You lose your soul in the price…in the sell.

“What does it profit a man to gain all the world offers and forfeit who he essentially is?” -Jesus

It sounds so simple to say “I am loved by Love”. It can seem trite. But it’s a treasure that has to be taken to the depths of our abyss. To the lies of our darkness. To the pain and unfinished business of our lives. To the sunken ships that we’ve tried to convince ourselves are inconsequential and don’t affect us. That’s where light shines brightest. That’s where love beats loudest. That’s where life comes truly alive and awakening happens. So be it!

“I was right there at the top of the bottom
On the edge of the known universe where I wanted to be
I had driven to the scene of the accident
And I sat there waiting for me

Restart and re-boot yourself
You’re free to go
Oh, oh
Shout for joy if you get the chance
Password, you, enter here, right now

Oh, oh
You know your name so punch it in
Hear me, cease to speak that I may speak
Shush now
Oh, oh
Then don’t move or say a thing.”
-U2 “Unknown Call

Dr. C. Baxter Kruger's Audio Available

"Dancing With the Trinity: Living Loved and Loving Life" was the theme of Dr. C. Baxter Kruger's presentation October 16 & 17, 2009 for the HCM Community in KC. 

The sessions were recorded and divided into 7 sessions for more convenient listening. They are now available for either listening online or to download as mp3 files and listen offline. You can find them at www.talkradio.com using this link: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/49394

If you have iTunes, you can download the audios as podcasts and subscribe to the HeartConnexion Radio podcast to receive updates as new programs are added. Use this iTunes Button  

 

 or search for the HeartConnexion Radio iTunes as a podcast.

Dr. C. Baxter Kruger, theologian, writer and fishing lure designer is the Director of Perichoresis Ministries. He and his wife Beth have been married for 27 years and have 4 children.

Baxter earned his Doctor of Philosophy from Kings College, Aberdeen University in Aberdeen, Scotland under Professor James B. Torrance. He is the author of 7 books, including The Great Dance, Jesus and the Undoing of Adam and Across All Worlds: Jesus Inside Our Darkness. His books are available for order through HCM Amazon.com Store.

He is an avid outdoorsman and holds two United States patents for his fishing lure designs. He is the founder and President of Mediator Lures.

Baxter builds on the Early Church Father's understanding of the extravagant love of the Trinity. Rather than spirituality being about "doing enough" to change God's mind about us, it is about discovering the false image we paint on God. In practical terms he shares how the heart of God is about us discovering the joy of everyday living as a dance into which the Trinity invites everyone.

"You Have A Hole In Your Soul" - Papa

Have you ever dialoged with God? Did you expect a direct answer?

I recently posted a "Homework Challenge" on Facebook for my BreakThrough Friends: "Three pages on how living my contract can continue to change my life." I did not expect many responses but for one person it became the source of another BreakThrough. She gave permission to share it with the HCM Community.

Here is her gut-level dialog with Father:

Friday night-midnight:
What do you do when your contract feels like a bunch of words on paper? When it is not etched into your heart nor has ANY meaning? You turn to Papa and ask Him for guidance. This is exactly what I did tonight. I cried out to Him asking Him to show me what it means to live loved and love life. I cried because I do not feel that love and am leading a life that feels so loveless.

From the outside, it appears I have so much love in my life. I have a husband who adores me and kids who think I am pretty cool too. I believe there is a heart connection with my boys that I have so longed for from my own parents. So again, I asked Papa, why don’t I feel it? What is it about me that does not allow the love to come in, to experience it to its fullest?

Stop Playing Unwinnable Games

What Life Games are you playing that you do not want to lose? Don’t mistake the term “game” as trivializing the seriousness of life choices. Instead, using the concepts of “playing the game” can bring a perspective to see what is happening and offer options to move forward. Don’t dismiss it as simply about competition and making others lose. Instead, the opposition are those beliefs, habits, patterns which oppose the quality of life that we want for ourselves and others. For example, playing an Enriching Relationship Game may result in everyone winning by defeating old patterns of isolation and loneliness.

There is a paradox of playing games. There is no real joy in playing a game we cannot lose. (Try playing checkers with a three year-old and see how boring it quickly becomes.) On the other hand, in playing a game that we really want to win, we ‘win” just by playing without regard to the outcome. (Choosing to play a Healthy Boundaries Game may a “win” even though other people may not yet be respectful of our new boundaries.) One way to think about living a “fulfilling life” is to continually stretch to play a new or bigger game that is just outside your comfort zone.

Playing Big or Settling for Your Comfort Zone?

A Comfort Zone is a place of safety; stay there too long and it becomes prison deadening to dreams and souls. The "river of life" where joy and a fulfilling life is experienced always calls us out of the our Comfort Zone into that "sweet spot" just outside where we can choose to play a bigger life game.

Are you playing a big game that's important to not lose or settling for games you know you can't lose? Your choice. 

If you want to play a Bigger Life Game let me know and we'll explore how that could happen. 

Here's a challenge if you dare:

Although every human being is a universe within their very being...

some hardly dare explore outside the bare house they grew up in. 

A few travel to the edge of their inner town, 

fewer still to other cities. 

But is rare to find one 

that has lifted from the ground 

to set sail for places undiscovered. 

Fly high.

- Paul Young, author of The Shack, written to Kent Burgess in response to Kent's blog post People Who Make Me Think .... In Different Ways

Pacing the Cage?

I was describing to a friend, Kent Burgess, how a lot of people have self-described where they were before attending our BreakThrough Seminar. If you've attended you know that many talk about having "lost themselves trying to please everyone else" and being "stuck in living life." Losing one's self is a high price to pay. Fortunately, that is not where people are when they complete BreakThrough! If you are there, you don't have to be. If you are back there, you don't have to stay. Kent said it reminded him of lyrics from a song by an artist I am learning to love, Bruce Cockburn. The song is Pacing the Cage. Here's the lyrics Kent quoted and a link to the song. "I've proven who I am so many times The magnetic strip's worn thin And each time I was someone else And every one was taken in"

Kent's Blog Faithfully Dangerous

I Need a God Who....

What kind of a God do you need? Sure, we all want One who makes us healthy, wealthy and wise (along with all the people we care about). We imagine One who gives us exemption from all the ordinary problems of life and logical answers to all of our questions.  Some churches actually that market that kind of God and attract quite a crowd by offering an escape from reality.

Personally, I want a God who is with me in all the darkness that life throws my way. One who is there as a "present help in times of trouble." Not one I have to call to come from where ever He (They) is/are to where I am. Isn't that Jesus said the Holy Spirit would be another Advocate with us forever (John 14:16, 17)? Yet, how often have I prayed in my darkness "God, where are you? It's time for you to show up." - as if He was not present. 

That misses the whole meaning of the Incarnation - God with us - Emmanuel - lowering Himself to become like us forever (the enfleshment of Christ was not a temporary condition that he could discard like a dirty suit when He ascended. He still sits inside our same skin.)

Here is a description of the God I need - and the One we all have:

Any gift Christ has for me depends on this, that he became poor. I need a God to heal the trouble of my life, but a God remote, inapprehensible, is no God for the heart. He may have all the fulness of strength and wisdom and love, but if these cannot display themselves they might as well have no existence. Wisdom does not sit apart from life, but proves itself wisdom by entering into affairs and guiding them to worthy issues. And love, also, is no abstraction; it shows itself in loving, entering into conditions which are foreign to it in order to prove its quality. It takes upon itself burdens which are not its own, it throws aside every privilege and restriction, and plunges into the thick of common life. All that is in God could not be known without an incarnation. Quoted in The Person of Christ H.R. Mackintosh, T. F. Torrance T&T Clarke Publishers, 2000

When I look into the face of Jesus Christ and see the face of God, I know that I have not seen that face elsewhere and could not see it elsehow, for he and the Father are one. H. R, Mackintosh The Person of Christ 

Wish I had said that! 

Dr. Paul

Grace Is Dangerous!

My post "BS We Accept About God" stirred up sincere questions. What I believe about God seems dangerously graceful. When I presented God as angry, wrathful, hard to please, conditionally loving people have brain freeze and are not shocked at all.

Theology discussions always involve assumptions that makes clear answers challenging. To address one part requires dealing with many other areas. For example, here the first part of Adam's question:

Dr. Paul: "The OT and NT Scriptures speak often of the anger and wrath (thumos) of God(Romans 1:18) and the "judgment" of God (Romans 2:5) and eternal punishment. Granted in my view these passages refer to non believers. But do you teach and address these attributes of God?

Would You Say This In Front of Your Mother?

Larry King recently interviewed R&B singer Chris Brown along with his attorney and his mother after a judge gave him a sentence of 5 years probation and six months of community service for assaulting Rihanna, his girl friend at the time. 

It is an interesting interview for several reasons but I found the following exchange amazing. Remember, his mother, Joyce Hawkins, was sitting there with him. She  just tol dKing about how shocked she was that her son did this thing:

King: What do you think caused you to be violent? I mean, you have to think about it. Everybody -- we all think about ourselves -- why did I lose my temper, why did I get angry over this

Brown: I mean, that's relationships. I wouldn't say it's OK. I think, just in relationships in general, there's chances where you lose your temper or like arguments get heated or whatever the case may be. I'm not saying domestic violence is a part of relationships.

I feel like that we're young. We're both young. So nobody taught us how to love one another. Nobody taught us a book on how to control our emotions or our anger. I'm not trying to fall on the fact that I'm young. I'm just saying it's a lot of stuff that I wish I could have changed that night.   [Bold emphasis mine]

Yes, I know he's trying to repair his image and his mother and attorney are there to help him. But can you imagine saying on national television with your mother sitting there "So nobody taught us how to love one another"? Watching the interview, it did not appear to sting his mother but then who knows.

If you've been to BT and heard my shame lecture [or as a TA have sat through it several times] you may recall that there are two complimentary shame defense strategies that may be involved here: Attack Self and Attack Other. The Attack Other defense includes a willingness to accept abuse from others. "I don't like myself and I have people in my life who treat me that way." The Attack Other defense includes rage that can spiral out of control into violence. This person needs someone who will tolerate their rage, sarcasm and put-down attacks. 

Why do people stay in painful relationships? Often because it is consistent with the way they deal with internalized-shame issues.

Best wishes to both of them. I can't imagine he'll need it after his mother realizes what he really said about how he was raised.

Surprise? Put-downs hurt students

This has to go in the Duh? Department. It seems surprising to researchers that put-downs among High School students is quite high. Just as surprising it seems:

The study from the University of Illinois suggests dealing with classmate put-downs can make it harder for good students to learn and make it more difficult for students who are behind to catch up.

After surveying 10,000 students in 650 school systems they found that one in five reported suffering verbal put downs by peers. [Apparently the study did not ask about teacher/administrator put downs.]

Here's the statement I found shocking:

"I think it's sort of a wake-up call for a lot of us that this kind of verbal harassment is going on in schools, and it's contributing to a learning environment that is quite disruptive for kids," said Christy Lleras, a University of Illinois assistant professor of human and community development, who worked on the study.

Where have they been and what schools did they attend that this the degree is a "wake-up call" and that it negatively impacts learning? It's the one of the most challenging experiences of shame because you are supposed to laugh at your own wounding. If you don't then you are open for more shaming in a "blame the victim" situation.

Here's the link to the article in CNN.com http://edition.cnn.com/2009/US/09/03/high.school.put.downs.study/

Finding Grace in the Midst of Dark Days

The interaction of mind and body is well known but not as well understood. Sometimes it seems that it is physical illness that leads to emotional distress and then at other times just the opposite. Amy Kiel, a recent participant in BT, shared the following very vulnerable reflection about her journey on her blog Una Vita Bella with the title New Armor.

Amy is a passionate advocate for suicide prevention and knows the depth of that kind of depression. You can follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Abeeliever.  Thank you Amy.

You may know someone who could benefit from her story and her sharing about attending BreakThrough.

Revisiting the past, recalling the memories, it reminds me of how much growth has occurred. I was just listening to parts of an interview I did about 9 months ago. In this interview I recount the details of receiving the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia approximately 4 years ago as well as the darkest depression I sunk into as a result. I discuss details of my suicide attempt and share the need for suicide prevention.

It is odd to listen to yourself tell a story like that…it is eerie in ways.

I absorbed some of the gravity of the topic this time as I listened. Often times I detach as I talk about these things, otherwise I suppose it would be too painful. What I heard reminded me of the seriousness of the things I have dealt with, none more serious than what you may be struggling with, but seriously painful memories to me. Instead of feeling a need to run, or to avoid, I can embrace it. There is a danger in that, though, for I certainly do not want to find my identity solely through my pain. But I can embrace the person that has emerged from the darkness of my struggles.

Naked On the Way to The Grave

Now that's a catchy title! Actually it's part of a story illustrating the power of shame to change human behavior.

Years ago I was sleepless in Kansas and just pulled a Greek history off the shelf thinking it would surely put me to sleep. Instead, I read an amazing story.

A ancient and poor Greek village experienced the death of one of the wives by suicide. Life was very hard and depression is an ancient problem. Over the next few months there were several more village wives who also took their own life. It had to be a very painful experience for everyone the whole community watching the procession to the funeral pyre where the body would be burned.

[ASIDE: Let me interject here that the choice to take one's life is a complicated and challenging to understand. One of the common mis-understandings is that it represents "losing control." That perhaps suggests the degree we worship the idea of control. My observation has been that suicide is very often the ultimate form of control. It does not really change the external circumstances being faced (and often experienced as overwhelming) but at least I won't be here to be exposed as powerless or humiliated. The recent suicides by money managers who were fooled into recommending clients invest in Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme is perhaps an illustration.]

Back to the Greek story:

Something had to be done to stop the loss of village wives! The small population provided only so many options for marriage and this was becoming a crisis. So, men did what men do in a patriarchal society - they called a meeting of men to discuss what to do.

After a long day of debate and discussion they passed a decree: Anyone (female or male) who took their own life would be carried through the village naked on the way to the funeral pyre!

The author reported that it worked. After all the Greek statuary that portrayed the ideal body image, who would what to be compared to that? The imagined shame of being seen naked by other villagers was enough to scare life into them rather than out of them. 

Instead of thinking "I'd rather die than ....." it became "I'd rather live than be seen naked by neighbors."

Now, I think I'll take a nap.

Can Shame Be A Good Thing?

Recently, I was asked two questions about the nature of shame that overlap:

Amy Keil asked, "Dr. Paul, what is your definition of shame?" Then Greg Keefer asking about my understanding about Phillip Garrido's (the kidnapper recently arrested in CA) statement that he had never felt an adequate amount of shame for the crimes he committed against children but since a recent conversion as a Christian he how feels the appropriate amount of shame. "Is this good shame?"

[HAVE YOU SEEN "UP"? Watch Doug's "cone of shame."]

Here's some additional news report about Garrido:

The case broke after Garrido was spotted Tuesday with two children as he tried to enter the University of California, Berkeley, campus to hand out religious literature. Officers said he was acting suspiciously toward the children. They questioned him and did a background check, determined that he was a parolee and informed his parole officer.... People who knew Garrido said he became increasingly fanatic about his religious beliefs in recent years, sometimes breaking out into song and claiming that God spoke to him through a box. … In April 2008, Garrido registered a corporation called Gods Desire at his home address, according to the California Secretary of State. During recent visits to the showroom, Garrido would talk about quitting the printing business to preach full time and gave the impression he was setting up a church....

BS We Accept About God

I am amazed at what we read, hear, and even causally say some amazing things about God without being shocked. We seem to go blind and brain-dead so that when we experience contradictory messages about God's character, it does not even register as a big deal. [By the way, BS stands for Belief System.]

Take a look at th church sign in the picture and see if you are shocked. Yes? No? I am not referring to Brad and Steve's acting but the message, "Have you made God smile today?" I find that absolutely shocking for a church to infer that God's default view of humanity is at best neutral or probably angry. It's as if God starts each day grumpy and needs humanity to do something to put a smile on His face. Of course then we have to start each day figuring out what we can do to make Him smile. What kind of loving relationship is that? What kind of self-centered Trinity would that represent?

Imagine a child who wakes up every morning worried about what they will do today move their parents from being grumpy and angry or distracted? Yesterday's smile is gone and its got to be earned all over again today, tomorrow and everyday the rest of life. I think that child would be destined to want to get our that house as soon as possible. Wonder if that's a clue for congragations to explore about their declining attendance?

BT Couple Sharing - Irene's Story

Ben and Irene Delong completed BT nearly 18 months before deciding to post an update on their Facebook pages for their friends. They graciously gave me permission to share with the larger community. You will find their stories inspiring when you realize how tragically the 18 months could have ended for them.

Here is Irene's story "What BreakThrough Means to Me":

Ben's sharing about what Break Through did for him inspired me to do the same. I hope that it is an encouragement to others to go through Break Through as well.

Let me be honest that I really didn't want to do it. Ben's sister's and brother-in-law went through ... but that's a different story. I had been through a lot of therapy and the last thing I wanted to do was tell my WHOLE story all over again and have people feel sorry for me. I didn't want or need pity, I needed help with the "dealing with it" part. I had a lot of anger issues and I knew how to hide it well. I just about always had a smile on my face. I even fooled myself at times about how happy I was. I tried to find happiness in a lot of "things" instead of looking at my problems and asking the question,"How's that working for ya?" - as Dr. Paul likes to ask from time to time.

BT Couple Sharing - Ben's Story

Ben and Irene DeLong attended BreakThrough Seminar nearly eighteen months ago. They recently posted their personal reflections about their journey for their friends to read on Facebook and then gave me permission to share them with the larger community. What a delight is has been to watch as they took the  spark that came alive BT and work through a lot of issues. Keep going on Living Loved and Loving Life!

First, Ben's reflection on "Where I am today":

It's been a year and a half since Irene and I attended Breakthrough, a spiritual formation seminar that helps deal with issues and gain empowerment to live a more healthy life. I've been thinking about how my life is different now and how much Breakthrough has been a blessing to me.

Life's Pain: Transform It or Transmit It.

"Sometimes in our lives we all have pain, we all have sorrow..." If you've been through BreakThrough you'll remember the song Lean on Me. But think about that for a second, what gives anyone the authority to invite someone else to "I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on"? Haven't we all had our own fill  life's pain? Is anyone exempt from it and if not, don't we need someone who is fixed with all the answers for us? 

We all seem to hold out hope for something that will painlessly give us perfect healing of painful memories. It's a strong illusion and one that, unfortunately, some spiritual communities market successfully - until reality sets in. Then they offer blaming questions like "what's your secret sin that keeps you from perfect healing?" or "you need more faith or to be more committed." It seems to work for some people as long as denial can blind them to reality. The basis of authority in those communities is usually the almost more-than-human perfection of the leadership. Let any of that false illusion crack open and my experience is that the community generally "shoot their wounded."

What if spiritual credibility (authority) was not at all about having-it-all-together but was part of our willingness to be honest about the pain we've experienced and may still be working through? In his lecture The Authority of Those Who Have Suffered, Richard Rohr suggests that is the case and that we have a choice to either transform our pain or we will transmit it.

Who's Teaching Your Children About God?

I saw this posted on another blog and could not resist posting it. Quite a few BT families have become aware that the image of God being presented to their children is far from the image of grace they are discovering. Susanna and I wish we had paid much more attention to the image our children were given by well-meaning but misguided Sunday School teachers. But the, we weren't so discerning about what we were swallowing theologicially then either. Laugh, cry, ponder, whatever ....