GraceConnexion

Can We Count You In?

We are asking you to invest at least $10 monthly in HCM beginning this month - July 2009.

What is that about? Why now?  It is simply about sustaining HeartConnexion Ministries. We believe you want others to have the opportunity you had in experiencing BT, PVL, YKT, counseling, coaching and the other resources.  You are our family so we are asking with our hearts for your participation with us.

“Dr. Paul and Susanna, how is HCM doing?” you may be asking.

We’re seeing entire families be transformed, experiencing grace in ways never imagined possible. Marriages continue to be healed. People are living their purpose and creating a fulfilling life. We have more calls from people asking about BT; but, unfortunately many struggle financially and the cost seems overwhelming.

“What do you need to sustain HCM?

Long Range: We need you to continue encouraging those you care about to attend BreakThrough. This is the key for the long run.

Right Now: We need consistent investment from our alumni if we are going to keep HCM alive. We cannot pay our ministry expenses without immediate income and regular monthly contributions.

After the Spring Fling in April, several TAs were talking with Susanna and one offered, “What if we asked everyone in the BT community to contribute $10 each month? Everyone could do that; it’s only $2.50 a week. What would that do to help?”

They quickly computed, 900 (alumni on the HCM newsletter email list) x $10 = $9,000 each month. Would that help? Absolutely! Those ladies said, “We need to let our family know that $10 every month isn’t too little.” So, we began asking!

Later, some of the office staff and a couple HCM board members were brainstorming; one said that an automatic monthly debit from their checking account might be preferable rather than remembering to write/mail a check; perhaps, $10 on the 10th of the month. Then another suggested $20 on the 20th or $30 on the 30th … and those who choose to contribute $50 or $100 or more tell us which day of the month to process it!

“How do I make a monthly contribution?”  Whatever way is best for you is fine with us.

    * Mail a check to HCM, PO Box 3179, Olathe, KS 66063
    * Set up an automatic payment through your bank online bill pay account.
    * Call the HCM office at 913-829-8810 to set up a debit/credit card deduction.
    * Use the PayPal option on the HCM website.
    * Any way that is best for you, just tell us.

What is HCM doing to reduce expenses?

We have reduced staff, relocated the office into a much smaller space with Lifeline Counseling, and eliminated optional expenses finding ways to make-do. We are considering a virtual office concept without rented space as an opportunity to think outside-the-box about ways we can do more with less.

What else can we do to help?

Call your group members and ask them to join you in making a monthly commitment.

Make HCM the designated organization to receive your United Way contribution (and ask co-workers to do the same).

Those who consider HCM as their primary spiritual community may practice the spiritual discipline of tithing a percentage of their income each month.

Encourage someone you know and love to attend BT.
Pray for our discernment about what Father wants to do through HCM.
It all helps.

Would you help us keep HeartConnexion alive? Our hearts desire is to continue changing our world one-heart-at-a-time with grace beyond shame.

Can we count you in?

Dr. Paul and Susanna

Do Not Worry About Tomorrow

Here is a follow-up post from Scott Jones. He shared his pre-BT2 and post-BT 2 feelings on his blog Reflecting The Light and I reposted them on this blog as Before and After BT Picture. Since then he had the opportunity to help coordinate a major ministry program called What If The Church - Serve Day 2009 and you can read his reflections about that here and here.  But that was a project and it was completed. So he was faced with the dreaded "what's next?" question. Ever come to an end with not clear idea about what is next? Below is an update from his post-BT journey

Do Not Worry About Tomorrow

A few weeks ago in my mountain top experience with HeartConnexion Ministries I was reminded of who I am! I am a Passionate, Driven, and Worthy man! I walked boldly off the mountain into the church work opportunity that was before me. I walked with a sense of confidence again. I devoted myself to the cause. I worked as part of a team. We worked together and the What if the Church Serve day project was a great success! 

That project is now over, my job has been fulfilled, and many hundreds if not thousands of lives have been affected. So, what do I do now? I am jobless once again. My church gave me a great gift by putting me to work for three weeks with pay and giving me the privilege of a temporary staff position. Now that is over. We decided three weeks ago that we would take it one step at a time, and we did.

I have lived the past three weeks with a renewed sense of passion, I was re-aligned with my call, I was reminded of who I am, I completed the  job, AND I have no idea what I will do next. My Thank You for the Opportunity emails were sent. I sent a note  to my pastor and let him know that I was hoping and praying for a chance to continue work with him at Cedar Ridge Christian Church. However the reality is that the funds are simply not available at this time.

I am now preparing to take the next step in faith, not knowing how I will be paid. I only know that my purpose is to be involved in church work. It s my Calling! It is what I am supposed to do! It is what I want to do! So I came into my church office this morning ready to move forward without pay because I am certain that God’s will for me is in ministry.  Then my pastor opens the church mail and there was an envelope with MY NAME on it and a check for $1,500! The check came from a ministry support group because my pastor sent in a request several weeks ago with my story.

I was speech-less, I was amazed, it was a clear answer to prayer, and a clear indication that I am to move forward one step at a time in the ministry opportunities that now lie before me.

So, I am learning to trust God daily. I do not know what next month or next year holds, but this I do know: I am called to do outreach focused church work and God will provide the Way! daily…

Do I Have Father's Fragrance?

Have you ever been fooled by the appearance of a flower that looked so beautiful that you just knew it's fragrance would be a delight only to find that it really stinks? There are some famous plants that are known for the stink they give off but most of them are not commonly found where I have lived. They look odd enough that I would be cautious before assuming they had a pleasant fragrance. But the pretty pink flower to the left is much more common and it can be found in Kansas or Florida or Indiana or Kentucky. And, I am almost always fooled by its appearance. I just knew it was a garlic plant but with a little research found it is a Society Garlic and it stinks. The smell of the flower is like garlic (a surprise when you expect something sweet) and pulling it up leaves you hands smelling like skunk! What a trick!

The same surprise can found among people who identify themselves as Christians. That is, I usually anticipate them to have a spirit that will make meeting them and being around them a pleasant experience. And that is sometimes the case. However, there are others where I feel fooled and the truth is that their attitude and general stinks. Sometimes it may be about their personality and what they have experience in life. I get that. What I am realizing more and more is that the image of God that they have stinks too.

Whether they are a reflection of their image of God or their image of God is a reflection of them is uncertain. What I know is that neither they nor their God-image is pleasant to be around. Yet, they seem to be the among the loudest, most closed-minded, rudest, least-loving people who call themselves "Christians." Instead of having the fragrance of Father's love about them, they stink! Have you noticed people pulling back when they find out someone identifies themselves as a Christian? Do you find yourself pulling back and cautiously doing a "smell test" before you get much closer?

I meet people in my communities all the time who tell me that whenever someone identifies themselves as a business person or professional and includes the adjective "Christian," they will refuse to do business with them. When you get underneath that story it is because they have been burned  by too many who did not have the fragrance of Father's love but stank. I also find more and more believers are no longer self-identifying as a Christian and substituting "follower of Jesus" or something similar because of the contamination of the term by stinking believers.

Now the real question is about how am I being experienced? Do I have the fragrance of Father's love or just appear that way but really stink? The flower on the right is from the garden of Kent Burgess whose blog Faithfully Dangerous is one I have been following for some time. We almost had time to meet in St. Louis recently but time did not allow. We'll do it in Father's time. Kent shares pictures from his garden and great insights from his spiritual journey. Kent in one who has the fragrance of Father about him.

What about you?

Dr. Paul's New "Stretch"

Have you noticed that to grow you have to keep stepping outside your comfort zone. By definition, growth always lies in our "discomfort zone." If we allow the natural anxiety of doing something new, a fear of failure or the potential for feeling humiliation to prevent us from stepping into the Discomfort Zone then we will not lead a very fulfilling life. 

That's what we all want but fulfillment does not come without a price. The price is the courage to keep playing a Bigger Game, one that we don't know we can win but it is too important to lose. The paradox is that playing a game we can't lose is boring and we win one we could lose if we play at all, without regard to the results. 

You notice the lenses in those glasses of mine as a kid. Well it only got worse as I got older. One of the things that was never fun for me was swimming because I could not see anyone, let alone across the pool. My vision when I had surgery as an adult was 20 x 2000. Yep, that's practically blind.

Thanks be to God for Lasik surgery that gave me back my vision. I had the surgery a dozen years ago and most of the people in my life now have no memory of those thick glasses I wore up to that date. 

So, because swimming was no fun (it was all Marco Polo to me) I never did learn to swim. On a few occasions I almost took lessons but was just not ready to play that game. Today, I started adult swimming lessons. Yes, it seemed funny. No, we did not blow bubbles. Embarrassing? A little. Did I do everything as well as I want to do it? No. Who cares? Will it stretch my comfort zone before I am finished? I am counting on it. 

Maybe Michael Phelps needs to watch out!

Surgery Thursday and Requested Prayer

Mary Beth Blackwell will be undergoing a 6 hour brain surgery procedure on Thursday this week, the day following her birthday. Mary Beth and Alex, her husbanc, have volunteered as TAs and been active supporters in the HCM Community. It has been a joy to watch them restore their marriage relationship and to use their experience as a way to help other couples. It was an honor to officiate at the renewal of their vows four years ago.

Alex recently posted the story on his blog www.thebridgemaker.com and asked for prayer for Mary Beth. Of course we will be praying for the whole family as they walk through this together. I'm using this as a way to spread the word and echo Alex's asking for "medicine."

Mary Beth, we all love you very much.
Dr Paul and Susanna

Here is Alex's story:

Sometimes the Sound of Hoofbeats are from Zebras

If all I had was one last prayer I’d pray it because I know You’re always listening. - Casting Crowns

A number of medical schools teach their students this adage, “When you hear hoofbeats think horses, not zebras.” The meaning is clear: When confronted with a set of complex symptoms consider the simplest or most obvious cause first. However, when doctors leave medical school and begin treating patients, some need to realize zebras can also be the reason for the sound they hear.

My wife Mary Beth has been hearing the hoofbeats for the last four years. My hope is the noise has not turned in to a stampede. We will know on Thursday when she undergoes a six hour operation on her brain to repair a Chiari Malformation.

An unwelcomed beginning

Four years ago we were planning our 20th wedding anniversary. This was a particularly special celebration because we had just reconciled our marriage a year earlier and were using this occasion to renew our wedding vows. We decided to turn the vow renewal into a second wedding because in many ways we were both different people and we were looking to start our married life over again.

The preparations were exciting and they were also exhausting. Working with the wedding planner, coordinating family members’ travel to Kansas City and finding new wedding rings all took a toll on Mary Beth. A few weeks after the ceremony, we left for vacation. By the time we returned home, my wife was not the same.... (read rest of the story here)

Before and After BT Picture

More than a few times people ask, "Why don't you take before and after pictures at BT? The changes are so dramatic that it shows up on our faces." That's quite often the case but I am not sure how many people coming into that first Friday night would want to have a photo taken. It's not like there's no anxiety.

Scott Jones, who just completed BT 2 last weekend, has given us the next best thing to a before and after photo - maybe even one better than a picture. After attending BT 1 he posted "Off to the Mountain I Go" , a vulnerable reflection of where he was before attending BT 2 on his blog Reflecting the Light. He just posted his post-BT 2 reaction "Back From the Mountain I Am." 

If you've attended BT, you can identify. If not, just imagine....

Off to the Mountain I Go:

It is way past time for me to get out of Dodge and meet God alone. I have been in a rut. It has probably been a rut that I caused, but a rut nonetheless. I am going away on a Breakthrough retreat with an organization called HeartConnexion Ministries. It is an intense time of letting go. I first met with this group 10 days ago. It was an unexpected encounter. I will blame it on God! Far too many coincidences to be anything less than God.

Bottom line: 10 days ago, when we all got together, it was all about leaving our crap at the door. We all have junk in our lives. For some of us the junk is an addiction. For some of us it is a broken relationship. For some of us it is a current relationship that is killing us inside. For some of us it is a crap load of messed up sexual stuff. For some of us it is a past that haunts us daily. For some of us it is simply us that we can seem to get beyond.

10 days ago, 19 of us decided to leave our crap outside the door. Part of the crap we left outside the door was the various masks that we wear in our normal lives. The masks of happiness. The mask of success. The mask of cool. The mask of tough guy. The masks of “you can’t hurt me.” I was uncomfortable without my masks. But I healed a little bit in the vulnerability of that group.

So Today I leave for a five day retreat. I leave my front door without my masks. I leave not on a pleasant retreat. but a retreat of inward honesty. Who am I? Why am I? how did I get to be who I am? I leave to meet the real me! A few months ago I left for Poland, partly to get away from me. Today I leave not to get away from me, but instead to get closer to me than I have ever been. I hope to meet God inside of me the way I met God in a country far, far from home! I think this is all part of the same long journey that started on a trip to Poland.

Off to the mountain i go…to find me, maskless, hurt, and real.

Shack Conference and GraceConnexion Radio

Shack Conference Report:

Last weekend, I shared with a few people part of my experience at The Shack Conference in April. They suggested rather than trying to capture it in writing that I record the story because it was more meaningful to them to hear it. So, now it's available to either listen to the three episodes online or download it to listen later.

Dr. Paul's Shack Conference Experience Part 1
Dr. Paul's Shack Conference Experience Part 2
Dr. Paul's Shack Conference Experience Part 3

GraceConnexion Radio:

We are always exploring how HCM can more effective serve and offer more resources. The technology of internet radio has great potential as another communication tool for the HeartConnexion Community. We chose Talkshoe.com to start our experiment. The first three episodes, The Shack Conference Reports, 
are already on GraceConnexion Radio

You can find GraceConnexion Radio at http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/49394.

Currently, we do not have any "live episodes" scheduled but hope to take that next step soon. We'll let you know as it allows us to host live broadcasts and have call-in participation.

Let me know if you have suggestions about how you would like us to use this tool.

• How about a FrontPorch meeting online that would be recorded and available later off-line?
• What about some interviews with the authors who were at The Shack Conference or some of the BT Community?

Help us think outside-the-box with this tool for our virtual community.

Shack Conference: Part 1 Pre-Conference Background

I am still processing my experience at The Shack Conference in Jackson, MS April 17-19. It was an incredible coming together of several threads of independent but related “spiritual movements.” The Conference was sponsored by the ministry of C. Baxter Kruger (www.perichoresis.org) and they will make it available as audio and DVD in August. The speakers were Paul Young, Malcolm Smith, C. Baxter Kruger and Ken Blue.

Some background is important to understand my experience. My good friend, Ron Thornton, gave me The Shack for Christmas 2007. I read it twice before giving it to Susanna on New Year’s Day and she read it through that day - tears flowing all day.

A few days later a blog I follow had a link for videos of Paul Young sharing about the backstory of writing The Shack at Mariner’s Church. I watched them and was deeply moved. I made a mistake of telling Susanna about it before we were to leave for some appointment and she started watching. I walked in to see if she was close to being ready to leave, saw the tears and backed out knowing that we were going to be late. She says it was as moving as reading the book. If you know the story then you know that Paul really understands the power of shame to create and protect “the shack” from exposure.

I thanked Ron and he said that the author was connected to Wayne Jacobson whose ministry Lifestream (http://www.lifestream.org) had published several of his books including: So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore , He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father's Affection , and several others. After listening to Wayne’s weekly podcast The God Journey (http://www.thegodjourney.com) and reading his books it was obvious that he also really understands the significance of shame and it’s power to impede our internalization of grace.

Calling Paul Young proved impossible but I spoke briefly to Wayne and asked him how he came to understand the significance of shame. He said he was impacted by a group of people he met in Australia and they changed his understanding about the Atonement. He did not really have a name for that group and we agreed to talk again sometime.

Now I had a mystery about who this group was in Australia. My Google search turned up the name of C. Baxter Kruger whose ministry Perichoresis has a presence in Australia and the US (www.perichoresis.org). I listened to the audios available and read his book The Great Dance: The Christian Vision Revisited, Jesus and the Undoing of Adam and God is for Us . It was his book Across All Worlds: Jesus Inside Our Darkness that convinced me here was a theologian who really understood shame and its impact on grace.

To say the least, Baxter is an interesting man. He is a Mississippi boy who grew up in a Presbyterian church, attended Bible College and found himself in Scotland working on a PhD in Systematic Theology. You have to understand that he is also an avid fisherman. So avid that he started making fishing lures as a young boy and now has a fishing lure company, Mediator Lures. His research was on the theology of Thomas Torrance, one of the leading voices in recovering the early church's Trinitarian theology.

I called Baxter in November and found that he was on tour in Australia with - of all people - Paul Young. Later, I invited him to come to Kansas City and speak in conjunction with the HCM Gala in January because his theology was so consistent with what we are doing in HeartConnexion Ministries. A commitment in Thailand made it impossible but we talked about shame. He suggested that once you step back to the Early Church Fathers before Augustine’s legal definition of sin the best way to talk about what is wrong with humanity’s ability to accept grace is shame. He told me about a conference he was putting together in Jackson, MS, his home base, with Paul Yound and Malcolm Smith and maybe one other who were all coming from a Trinitarian point of view.

Of course, that set me on a course to explore what Trinitarian theology and reading the books of Thomas Torrance, James B. Torrance and others. I have known Malcolm for a dozen years and appreciated his teaching ministry but had to wonder if the three had known each other for a long time or had influenced each others writing.

It has been so rare to find clergy and theologians who really “get” the significance of shame that I was overwhelmed with all these voices becoming public at the same time. I was ready to sign up for the conference.
 
Next: Paul Young Sharing About the Backstory and the Book

10 Daily Habits List

Change your habits, change your life! We all know that it is the little habits that powerfully impact our life - for good or not so good. Some habits are life-giving and some are life-taking. Changing them is an inside job.

I have not found any amount of "should, ought to, must, have to" energy that has been enough to change my habits over a sustained period of time. I'll bet it's the same with you. Doctors can tell us, parents and spouses can nag us, we can use God to guilt us, even children can beg us to add or drop a habit and it's rarely successful. What is missing is the "want to."

Negative energy has to come from outside us and there is a cost - guilt, shame, pressure, fear, anger. Ever know anyone who seemed to need to be angry to get something done? How often do we use the pressure of some deadline and the adrenaline-rush to accomplish something "just in time?" But what is the cost to us and to others in our life affected by our need for negative energy? The most frequent emotional payback we get from doing something because we "have-to, ought-to, must do" is relief that it's over and we don't have to do it again for some time period. "Thank God that's done. I don't have to do that until next _______."

Positive energy comes from finding the "want to" in the tasks we choose and the habits we create or drop.  The energy comes from the process itself and does not need an outside source. The emotional payback in usually a sense of healthy pride and accomplishment. In fact, we find ourselves saying, " I look forward to doing that again."

A 10 Daily Habits List is a tool I use and recommend to the people I coach. I confess that my pattern in actually using it has been inconsistent. What I know is that whenever I am not using the 10 Daily Habits List my life is less fulfilling, more pressured and chaotic.

It is not rocket science but it is a helpful tool. Simply make a list of 10 Behaviors or Choices that would improve the quality of your life and begin to practice them. These are not the 10 Daily Habits someone else wishes you would develop! This is not an "OUGHT TO DO" LIST but a WANT TO LIST! Remember  the BT 1 exercise "What do you want?"

They don't have to be huge changes to make a significant difference. Start with what may seem small things (floss daily, make bed daily, drink more water daily, walk daily, etc.) that you want to develop into routine actions that happen almost automatically. Do them for at least 30 days and when they become routine add another one.

What is on your 10 Daily Habits list? You can add a 10 Daily Habits list for a specific area of your life: work, relationships, spirituality, etc.  Let's share some accountability. Here is my current working list for my life.

1. Drink a full glass of water on rising and before going to bed.
2. Drink water when eating out instead of soda or tea.
3. Take vitamin and aspirin daily.
4. Make the bed daily.
5. Walk/jog at least one-half mile (work up to jogging full distance).
6. Walk/stretch twice during each day.
7. File office papers daily.
8. Write 2,000 words daily on book project/blogs/etc.
9. Preview and choose tomorrow’s tasks to create a winning day tomorrow.
10. Call someone unexpectedly to encourage them.

Watch for a new CoachingConnexion Blog coming soon!

"Ok, God you got me. Say it now or forever hold your peace."

Have you been where you want to hear something from God but are doing everything to avoid hearing at the same time? Ever just want God speak loudly with sound effects so you won't wonder if it was really Him? If so, you can identify with what Kelsie Clark was feeling one dark night alone with God. Let her story challenge the lies that you've been given about Father:

Dr. Paul I am getting more and more opportunities to share my heart with my family and friends.  It is exciting to sit back and watch God work through me.  I'm excited to be living again--loving myself, and loving those who love me.

God is speaking to me on a very real level, and I'm listening. I am not allowing the terrible representation the enemy gave me to cloud the view of Him that He is so willing to show me. 

I put it all out in the open one night while I was driving.  I felt alone, and I began to reach out to my earthly connections and support, but I couldn't reach any of them.  I turned on the radio, but all I could get was static.  So I just started screaming at God, "Okay, you got me.  I'm alone.  Say it now or forever hold your peace.  God, I can't keep searching, because I'm running low on fuel.  You've never been there, and I don't expect you to show up now."  By this time, I was in tears, ready to give in.  I kept yelling and cursing, and pounding the steering wheel for awhile, trying to force Him to "come out of the shadows." 

What's Your Impossible Dream?

What is your dream? Do you dare to even let yourself dream it? If you had the chance, would you take it? Do you let the tape that "it's too late" keep you silent? Would you step into your fear and the doubt of others? What would you pay to see the "Simons in your life" speechless?

I challenge you to watch this video clip of SUSAN BOYLE DEAMED A DREAM I dare you to be dry-eyed and unmoved by it. I could not make it through without tears. Watch the interview as well and be inspired as I am. 

Sometimes the Trinity must just laugh and say, "let's knock there socks off. They need to know that our dance with them is not as predictable as they imagine." 

God bless Susan Boyle for the gift of inspiration to the world.PS If you are an aspiring writer, check out the rest of Colleen Coble's blog Girls Write Out.

Subtle Shaming or Am I Over the Top? pt 2

Maybe I am but there is some very good company with me ....

Thanks for all the feedback (both here, by email and on Facebook). As I made clear in the original post, I do not wanting to pick on this author at all. I have not read the book but it is likely that the context would make his intention to clearly be encouraging to every reader. I don't want to be or to encourage anyone to become the "shame police" for authors or speakers. I make enough mistakes to keep me very humble.

Susan Scarafia said in an email, "What grabbed me is the absolute.  The CANNOT.  Absolutes raise my hackles.  I barely hear what comes next, because I'm distracted thinking of the exceptions." Perhaps that is what triggered my attention too because I have a reaction like hers.

Clearly, practicing gratitude makes a powerful difference in our outlook on life. It increases our ability to imagine alternatives to situations that seem overwhelming and depressing. I would not hesitate to recommend being grateful to everyone - yes, even to people whose depression is a deeper, long-term experience. It cam make anyone's life better however it is not a magic pill for all depression. So, it's one of those statements that is both true and not always true.

"Everyone Deserves a Second Chance"

Here is an excerpt from a very vulnerable blog post by Alex Blackwell, a BT alumnus. His mother passed away recently and he shares about that experience. Some of the past family dynamics could have been like a landmine, ready to explode, or an opportunity for healing.

Because of Alex's choices it became a healing moment for himself and others in the family. It is a very personal sharing that has already had an impact far beyond his family. He shared it on his blog TheBridgeBuilder.com. His blog is a wonderful source of inspiration and motivation and I have recommended it to many in the HCM Community. If you are on Facebook, you can join his The Bridgebuilder Group and get notice of his updates.

Alex, we are all very proud of you.

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance. -  Harrison Ford

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

My mother died today.

Her body finally gave up. It had enough. My mother’s liver, exhausted from working so hard to filter the toxins she put there, finally reached its limit. So, it’s over. A life of abuse found a quiet end.

There will not be a viewing of her body, or funeral, and very few people are even aware she is dead. My father has ordered a cremation for sometime next week. Later in the summer my brother, sister and I will join our father for a church service to memorialize her life. Her death, similar to much of her life, will be isolated.

If second chances are granted, I wonder if my mother requested one. In the last month of her life, I could hear the fear in her voice. She was aware of the damaged she had done and the fact she was getting close to the end. I want to believe in the final week she would have traded the cigarettes, alcohol and pills for a chance to live her life differently. Maybe it’s my need for a second chance that I allow myself to believe this.

Click here to read the rest of the story....

Subtle Shaming or Am I Over the Top?

I had opportunity to dialog today with Michael Hyatt on Twitter. He is CEO of Thomas Nelson, a major publisher in the Christian market and prolific blogger. I read his blog consistently and we are both on Twitter  (you can follow me at http://twitter.com/drpaul or Michael at http://twitter.com/michaelhyatt).

I started the dialog after Michael posted a quote from a new Thomas Nelson book by Andy Andrews, The Noticer: Sometimes, all a person needs is a little perspective. Here is the quote:

“The seeds of depression cannot take root in a grateful heart.” The Noticer (p. 56)

Now, this is an innocent statement on the surface and I attribute nothing negative to the author or publisher. In fact, I will probably purchase it. However, what struck me was how a simple generalization to which almost everyone would agree can become a shaming message to people who struggle with clinical depression. Their shame-based logic will likely turn it around as: "I struggle with depression so I must not have enough of a grateful heart." Some will take it as a tool to get rid of their depression. After trying to be 'grateful enough,'  they will blame themselves for failing at what seemed so hopeful. Worse yet, someone will advise them if they were really grateful they would not be depressed.

Let me be clear, that way of reading the quote is the last thing the author or publisher would want to communicate. Michael is also correct that in writing a book an author can't account for every possibility and have something to say that people will read. That is true for teaching, speaking, preaching and etc. I get that issue and fail at it often enough myself to be humbled and frequently wish I could take those words back. 

My point to Michael was that a common assumption by communicators that the vast audience for Christian books, articles, sermons, etc. is not hearing through heart-wounds of shame; that those are the exceptions in the audience and the majority are "normal." Whatever that is? My experience is that it is the other way around and that the majority are people with shame-wounds (of varying degrees) but they are disguised as "normal." 

Maybe I am just too close to the issue and see shame even where it is not. Here is a chance to give me some feedback. Who knows, Michael might even come and read your comments.

Tiara for A BT Princess pt 2.

Here is the second part of Jamie Michael's Tiara Saga. She posted it to her BT Group's Blog and gave me permission to share it. Her experience with her stepmother is a great illustration of the mystery that surrounds the changes our friends and family see but can't explain or won't accept our sharing. Why else would you travel four weekends from West Virginia to Kansas City if it wasn't for a romantic interest. That kind of environment is ripe for rumor and speculation. Laugh and enjoy Jamie's story along with some personal insights.

Keep sharing your heart. There are a lot of Jamie's and a host of others want to grow farther and faster than they can imagine. Lone them your imagination and encourage them to attend BreakThrough. Let's keep changing our world one-heart-at-a-time.  

"Are you going to see a guy?" asked by stepmom, after I announced my plan to return to Kansas in March.  Why must it always have to be about a guy, I thought to myself.  "Oh, you are wearing a tiara.  You must have met someone, got engaged, or got married," she added.

Tiara for A BT Princess pt 1.

Some stories about happenings to BreakThrough participants are just too good to not pass along - with permission, of course. Jamie Michael came from West Virginia at the recommendation of a friend. At the end of BT 2 her friend gave Jamie a Tiara. That was the beginning of a funny but powerful part of Jamie's training. 

I laughed out loud when she sent this to me and then even louder at the follow-up story. I'll publish Part 2 tomorrow. See if you don't think that Jamie has a future as an author - Patsy Clairmont and Barbara Johnson better move over for her. Hope it brings a smile to you.

Share your heart today!

Today, I took my return trip home.  My friend had given me a tiara for BT (Breakthrough) graduation.  Only one problem:  It didn't fit in my suitcase, so I HAD to wear it.  A dirty dozen.  I did not choose to wear my tiara.  I had to because it wouldn't fit in my bag.  Excuses!  I WANTED to wear my tiara, and I did.  I wore it proudly.

One woman at the checkout asked me about the tiara.  I told her I was wearing it because I am a princess.  "A princess of what?" she asked.  I said, "A princess."   Hmmm...I had never thought about that.  Does one have to have a kingdom to be a princess?

Good News: Death is Not Lord

The rolling of the stone in front of the tomb may have been customary to protect the grave but in this case it was used as a political and religious technology tool  to make this death certain. No one was going to take the body and make exaggerated claims to upset the status quo. Restoring order and predictability was paramount to squelch the hope of the masses.

The manner of his death revealed the depth of the darkness to which humanity had falle

n and the blindness so severe that it could prevent the Light of the World  from penetrating it. Once again death and public humiliation by those who had the power over life and death had demonstrated the apparent Lordship of death. What was more certain or more feared than dying? It had been seen as part of the cycle of life - birth-life-death - for ages. It seemed to confirm that there was nothing new under the sun.

But then, there was the rolling back of the rock and the coming forth of something entirely new - death did not have the last say. Death is not Lord; Jesus is Lord. It was the mystery of the purpose of the Trinity to destroy the power of death by embracing it and healing it as part of the Incarnation. As Athanasius wrote so elequently, “the unassumed is unhealed.” Meaning that in the Incarnation, the fully-divine Christ became fully-human flesh and took in the whole of human experience - shame, rejection, loss, alienation, love, joy, parties, births and even death - so that it would be a total healing process for humanity. It would be the end of the power of death.

"Why and How Do You Twitter?"

I get this question with growing frequency and answering each person individually would be great but time consuming. So, I'm going to refer those interested to Michael Hyatt's blog and a very good guide he created appropriately titled "The Beginners Guide to Twitter."

He also does a very good job of answering the question "Why Twitter?" and "Why Blog?" It may not be for everyone but don't dismiss it off hand. If you have not noticed, the world is changing and social networking with Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and blogging are part of the way things are getting done. 

Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Inc, a well-known publishing company, offers several guides to both Twitter, blogging, and personal productivity.  You may even want to add Michael and follow him on Twitter too.

Follow me on Twitter: Dr. Paul

Make me a Friend on Facebook: Dr. Paul's Facebook

Check out my LinkedIn profile here and let's connect: Dr. Paul's LinkedIn Profile

Guidance as Dancing with the Trinity

I am sending a message to friends on their birthday that includes some version of "Blessings for another year of dancing with the Trinity." Some know me well enough to have an idea about how significant the Ancient Fathers' suggestion that the relationship of the Trinity is like a "divine dance" into which all humanity is invited. Others must wonder at the meaning and some just see words.

David Alexander knows a bit about my recent exploration outside my old theological-box and the importance of the dancing image so he sent this to me. It has been been moving around the web but I had not seen it. Maybe the dancing image is striking a positive note with a lot of  us.  See what you think.

BT Alumnus Interviews Author of The Shack

Susan Scarafia, BT Alumnus, conducted a telephone interview with Paul Young several months ago as background for a book club discussion group at her church. She has graciously give me permission to share it with the HCM community. Please note her caveat that she is paraphrasing his answers and they are not exact quotes. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you Susan. 

“The Shack” Author Interview 2/25/09

Here is a summary of my interview with Paul Young. It’s pretty much what he said, but his answers are paraphrased; they are NOT exact quotes. If anything here contradicts something the author has said elsewhere, it’s probably because my transcription and memory were less than perfect, not because he’s saying two different things.

What was your starting point for the depiction of The Trinity?
Relationships were central. Just describing the love and interaction that already exist between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I had questions that were the type I wasn’t allowed to ask growing up in a religious family. As a teenager I wondered about gender inequity.

What were you taught about the Trinity and how has your description of it changed as you’ve gotten older?
It was schizophrenic. The Holy Spirit was a dangerous force. There was a severed understanding between the Father and Son. My father was a fairly brutal disciplinarian and I painted God with my dad’s face. God was calling me and pushing me away at the same time. Jesus could always understand me. It was a good cop/bad cop thing. It took me 50 years to wipe my dad’s face off of God’s. I think God presented himself to us as a loving father because that’s what’s missing in this world.