Have you been where you want to hear something from God but are doing everything to avoid hearing at the same time? Ever just want God speak loudly with sound effects so you won't wonder if it was really Him? If so, you can identify with what Kelsie Clark was feeling one dark night alone with God. Let her story challenge the lies that you've been given about Father:
Dr. Paul I am getting more and more opportunities to share my heart with my family and friends. It is exciting to sit back and watch God work through me. I'm excited to be living again--loving myself, and loving those who love me.
God is speaking to me on a very real level, and I'm listening. I am not allowing the terrible representation the enemy gave me to cloud the view of Him that He is so willing to show me.
I put it all out in the open one night while I was driving. I felt alone, and I began to reach out to my earthly connections and support, but I couldn't reach any of them. I turned on the radio, but all I could get was static. So I just started screaming at God, "Okay, you got me. I'm alone. Say it now or forever hold your peace. God, I can't keep searching, because I'm running low on fuel. You've never been there, and I don't expect you to show up now." By this time, I was in tears, ready to give in. I kept yelling and cursing, and pounding the steering wheel for awhile, trying to force Him to "come out of the shadows."
At that moment, I heard the faintest whisper. It was so quiet that I even squinted my eyes, as if that would help me to hear Him better. But the words were so clear and bright: "Be quiet, sweet child, and let me love you. You don't have to search, because my love is there, waiting out in the open. It isn't hidden, and it's not hart to find."I smiled, as the tears ran down my cheeks, and I felt for the first time the Love I had been longing for. He was able to reach into the shame that had been piled upon me by all those pastors that had pointed fingers, and the men who had taken advantage of me. He cut through the shame like a knife, and this began my breakthrough.
I drove and listened while He poured His love into me like a proud father. Not once was any lie or shame or bad decision brought into the mix. He just loved me for me. There was no booming voice shouting down from the heavens, no bright lights, and no doves. He knew what I needed. I WANTED the dramatics. I wanted Him to yell back and scold me for cursing at Him. But He knew that wouldn't work. He knew I needed a gentle hand, a sweet spirit to make me feel wanted and loved. And I felt loved by an amazing Father.
I am going to share this story on the blog, but I wanted to send it to you personally, and to thank you for all you've done. Your kind and gentle heart, and your sweet smile help me to see the love I'd been needing, and I found it, right where it had been all along. Your and your wife are so cherished in my heart, and I am sharing my story with others, because it is people like you two that help others to see Jesus again.
I had lost sight of who He really is, and He shines through the mercy and grace that you pour out onto your BT family. Thank you for helping me find Him, and for helping me to be willing to accept that He was right there in front of me, with his arms open wide. I didn't really have to find Him; He was there all along.
All my love to you and your wife.
Kelsie
